25 ELUL 5780 - September 14, 2020

 I AM JEWISH: MARCY JACKOWAY CORNFELD 

Remember Benjamin Braddock, the confused young man Dustin Hoffman brought to life in the movie "The Graduate"? Not too long after seeing that movie, I left my University City home for college. Maybe his rootlessness was on my mind as I prepared to go, because I recall feeling scared and asking myself, "What do I know about me? Who am I?" 

My answer to myself was I am a female and I am a Jew. This is how I boiled down my seventeen years. What is significant is that these were the things about me that I felt were immutable.

Now, both of these attributes can be changed. In those days gender wasn't negotiable, so I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it. I enjoyed being a girl and I knew I was a feminist. Judaism could have been more of a choice, but to me it was a defining characteristic that I also could not, and did not want to, change. 

Growing up in U. City in the 1950's and '60's, it was easy to be a Jew. For some kids, it was hard NOT to be one. Our schools didn't close for the High Holidays, but they could have. So many of us weren't there, real work was on hold. In sixth grade my classmates and I broke into peals of laughter when our music teacher began to tell us about the composer "Smetana." To us, Smetana was the delicious sour cream made by the Raskas Dairy, a local Jewish business. The teacher just got mad at us for our outburst, but it probably happened every year. I guess she never asked why. 

Some of my earliest memories are of dancing the hora in our kitchen, sitting with my grandmother on the porch singing Hebrew songs, and pretending with my sister that we were attending the Pioneer Women's dinner dance. I attended Gan Yeladim nursery school and went to Hebrew school four days a week - which is why I never saw after-school television or became a Girl Scout. 

But these weren't really grievances; it was just what we did. We bought trees in Israel and worried over the news. Israel was our dream destination. All the holidays were celebrated, and I looked forward to Shabbos dinner. I was active in BBYO.When I landed at college, suddenly in a minority, Judaism was at my core - and it has stayed there. Now, when I have been lucky enough to travel to Israel many times, I always feel as at home there as I do here. 

I have joked that "everything I do, I do for Jew." It's not just a joke, though. It's the truth because I cannot separate being Jewish from anything else. I am. I am Jewish. It is the same.

 

It is tradition to read Psalm 27 every day during Elul.  

PSALM 27

God is my light and my refuge secure - whom shall I fear?

God is the stronghold of my life - of whom should I be afraid?

When those who act with malice would devour me with words,

it is they who stumble, they who fall.

If an army were to take up arms against me, my heart would not fear.

If war were waged against me, still I would trust.

Just one thing I have asked of God; only this do I seek:

to dwell in God’s house all the days of my life,

to behold divine sweetness and beauty, and to gaze in delight at God’s Temple.

God shelters me in times of hardship, shields me in a tent of divine protection,

raises me high on a rock - so that now my head rises above enemies around me. 

Let me make offerings in that tent - the offerings of a joyful cry.

Let me sing hymns, and celebrate the One who is eternal - Adonai.

Hear my voice when I call; God, answer me with grace.

My heart spoke for you - it said, “Seek My face.” Your face, Adonai, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me, nor angrily turn away Your faithful one -

the one You have sustained. My God-of-rescue, do not desert me!

When my father and mother have gone, God will gather me in.

Teach me your way, Adonai; and guide me on a straight path,

because of those who lie in wait for me.

Do not hand me over to the will of foes who rose against me -

lying witnesses and those whose very breath is violence.

If only I could believe that I will see God’s goodness

in the land of the living. . .

Wait for Adonai

Be strong of heart, and be bold -- but wait for Adonai.

It is also tradition to hear the sound of the shofar each day during Elul.  It is a wake up call to prepare for the upcoming holy days. 

UHCSTL · Shofar 1